Don’t try to fix what’s broken

Photo Credit: KS KYUNG

Many of us like to play God. I am guilty as charged. There is a broken vase, and you go skimping around the house till you find the glue. There is a broken mirror and you replay the events over and over wishing you hadn’t dropped it. There is your friend, a broken human being, and you endanger your sanity, hell you endanger your life trying to fix her/him.

You are not God. Stop trying to fix what’s broken. He said. “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden…” He said to come to Him… The instruction is for the broken to go to Him not us. There is only so much you can do help a broken human being. Be wise and leave them to God.

For many years I put up with a broken friend, I thought I could fix her. I thought that my being her buddy will heal her, put her shard pieces together, tie the loose ends together. Instead it was I who got cracked up, splintered, fell apart. I completely lost it. It took light years of God’s grace to regain my sanity.

Then came along another. I put up with her sarcasm, and her ridicule, and her sneering and her endless mood swings. All where her way of manipulating me to do her bidding. I was always apologizing for something she said I’d done to hurt her. I apologized for going to my best-friend’s party. I repented for volunteering to serve the youth in my church — it should have been her she lamented.

My every single move was haunted. She had to vet it. I did things to please her. I was always explaining myself. I was forever counseling her and encouraging her. Constantly trying to make her happy. I relentlessly continued to feed her overtly needy nature.

For years this kept happening. I knew I needed to cut her off. Let her go. Like a quote I heard in a film “That boy is an anchor, cut him lose!” I was warned in subtle ways by people who could see through the weak fabric of our  parasitic relationship, that we were poorly matched, that she was a leech and I the host. But of course I never took their advise. I had to play God. I wanted to help her be better. And where did that get me?

Certain relationships aren’t worth it. We know it but we stay anyway. Until you tell yourself the truth and walk away for good, you will never feel adequate or be at peace with yourself. A leech is a bloodsucker. And a bloodsucking parasite can never do you any good. You MUST cut it off!

Learn from my story or learn the hard way. Don’t try to fix what’s broken; forgive, let go, then say goodbye!

I felt I had to write this sequel to “I’ve forgiven you but goodbye.” I felt I owed you some detail and I’m praying that you too will free yourself from any such traps masking as friends.

Psalm 55:21 His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war. His words are as soothing as lotion, but underneath are daggers! — NIV