Photo Credit: Alex Iby
There was a time going to work became a pain, a struggle. I had a team that was impossible to work with. Everything I said or suggested was met with antagonism, resistance and cold shoulders. Every morning I would lean into the Lord’s arms for strength. It was a new strength daily for many months.
One time I began to feel weary and the thoughts of quitting skirted my mind. I would imagine all kinds of escape and prayerfully wish my fantasies would suddenly come to pass. Then later I soon began to grow fond of my work and escaping quickly became a blur. But the stumbling blocks were still there. Stubborn brutes who refused to yield to my leadership but continued to test my patience. Each day they pushed the envelop a little farther. Waiting for me to break or surrender.
But I did not give in. Rather I went to God daily; in my thoughts, in the place of prayer, in petitions; for mercy, for my sanity, for grace to carry on.
It all began to heat up sometime in March after we had moved office and we were working on a certain campaign and I gave an instruction asking my team members to carryout certain tasks and my instructions fell on deaf ears. However, there was a second group also answerable to me, it was they who heeded my instructions, and with them I could get stuff done. They were my saving grace. Unlike my core team members, they banded together, and it was as though they had taken an oath to frustrate my efforts.
Still, I waded the waters, day after day, week after week. I found strength in the Lord to move onwards.
My pain wasn’t so much about their rebellion as it was about the state of my heart. For I was constantly bombarded with angry thoughts, thoughts of rage and bitterness slithered across my mind seeking to take control but the Lord is mighty to save. He delivered me. He continues to deliver me. So, every opportunity I had, I would smile, and say, ‘good morning,’ ‘hello,’ ask after their welfare and say, ‘good night.’ But nothing changed. It only got worse. They even abandoned the office given to them to work in because it had no air-conditioning. They preferred to seat at the reception area of the ministry, like orphaned children having no direction, seeking handouts just to make it through the day. Their master was their greed and hence their belly became their god. They were without control, ungovernable and answerable to no one.One time I began to feel weary and the thoughts of quitting skirted my mind. I would imagine all kinds of escape and prayerfully wish my fantasies would suddenly come to pass. Then later I soon began to grow fond of my work and escaping quickly became a blur. But the stumbling blocks were still there. Stubborn brutes who refused to yield to my leadership but continued to test my patience. Each day they pushed the envelop a little farther. Waiting for me to break or surrender.
But I did not give in. Rather I went to God daily; in my thoughts, in the place of prayer, in petitions; for mercy, for my sanity, for grace to carry on.
It all began to heat up sometime in March after we had moved office and we were working on a certain campaign and I gave an instruction asking my team members to carryout certain tasks and my instructions fell on deaf ears. However, there was a second group also answerable to me, it was they who heeded my instructions, and with them I could get stuff done. They were my saving grace. Unlike my core team members, they banded together, and it was as though they had taken an oath to frustrate my efforts.
Still, I waded the waters, day after day, week after week. I found strength in the Lord to move onwards.
My pain wasn’t so much about their rebellion as it was about the state of my heart. For I was constantly bombarded with angry thoughts, thoughts of rage and bitterness slithered across my mind seeking to take control but the Lord is mighty to save. He delivered me. He continues to deliver me. So, every opportunity I had, I would smile, and say, ‘good morning,’ ‘hello,’ ask after their welfare and say, ‘good night.’ But nothing changed. It only got worse. They even abandoned the office given to them to work in because it had no air-conditioning. They preferred to seat at the reception area of the ministry, like orphaned children having no direction, seeking handouts just to make it through the day. Their master was their greed and hence their belly became their god. They were without control, ungovernable and answerable to no one.
These were the sort of people I had to work with. In those days I learned to keep my eyes on the things that were invisible for the things that were seen had no joy in them. I hid myself in God.
There was a certain young man among them whom I’d taken a liking to early on in the year. He is about 26 years old. A very intelligent and gifted young man. I’d wanted him to work closely with me, and be my research assistant on the book I was working on. I’d also intended to mentor him through the process. Then he began to show his true colors. That young man became their ring leader. Young and decent looking but ruthless and without regard for no one. When he snorted the others dance. He held them by a leash. His arrogance they seemed to have found amusing and like the scriptures say, they soon learned his ways.
The first thing the Lord did for me in the beginning, of which I am so thankful for was this; a new guy joined the team, he was hired in January and he was different from all the others. It took me four months to realise that that guy was the research assistant I needed. The Lord had sent him ahead of time to replace the mischief-maker. So, long before the gang madness started, I could see that the Lord had my best interest at heart. I’d decided on a plan but His purpose prevailed. And that again is a reminder that ONLY the Lord knows the hearts of men. Ours is to present our plans before Him and allow Him choose for us. That single occurrence of God’s intervention in my choice of a mentee & research assistant gave me hope. So I waited upon the Lord.
… Waiting is never easy!
Psalm 25:12 Who are those who fear the LORD? He will instruct them in the path they should choose.
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