Thirty-something and Clueless

Photo Credit: Jason Blackeye

As a single girl I went through quite a bit of crises; juggling jobs and a few business ideas, grappling with conflicting decisions, nursing emotional wounds, figuring out my relationships with girlfriends, false friends, the opposite sex, struggling with chastity and being hounded repeatedly by temptations. Then there was the struggle with bills, endless bills, paying my rent, the power bill, fueling my generator, paying the guard, generally getting by. I was pressed. Overwhelmed. Beaten down. Bruised. Occasionally entrapped. Frustrated. Humiliated. Cheated. Misunderstood. Misguided. Betrayed. At other instances I did the betraying. The breaking. The bruising. Being single can be tough. Sometimes scary. Very lonely. Confused I was many times. I kept shifting my goals and aspirations. Then one day, after all said and done I was homeless. Houseless. And I was over 30.  A pity party! Thirty-something and totally clueless. That was when I wrote the book — The Secret Life of a City Girl.

I needed to put things in perspective. I needed wisdom and I wasn’t getting it. I didn’t have a steady church, no steady friends, wasn’t in a steady relationship, and had absolutely no voice of reason. I craved so desperately to retrace my steps. And retrieve myself from the widening chasm that had sucked me in. I wanted so badly to be freed, washed, unyoked from my many burdens, severed from my decaying habits. I sought wisdom. I was alone. Confused. Lost. So I looked within. I revisited the ancient landmarks. I went to the wells my fathers had dug and from them drew living water for my patched and thirsty soul. And by the time I was done I had written and compiled 40 proverbs. My soul was awash with wisdom and I reemerged alive. Awakened.